The moment I decided to start, a torrent swooshed in, overpowering every ounce of confidence I had nurtured in the process of preparation. You see, it wasn’t that I dreaded the prospect of finishing that which I concluded to do. It was that the fear became unnegotiable. I just feared.
When I realized that being afraid in itself wasn’t a sin, as some people suppose, I got to sweep aside the fear and begin. Just begin. And you know what that was? This article. I had been privileged to script three previous editions, but completing with this fourth seemed an imposing task.
That’s the stuff with fear. It isn’t wrong. It is not a sin. In fact, I’ve come across articles and messages that says having some fear is healthy. Wouldn’t it be nice if every gunslinger was afraid of shooting a gun?
However, setting out to do a thing, achieve a goal, meet a target, and cowering before the first attempt isn’t fear. Neither is it cowardice. It is just… You. Yeah. You. You’ve presupposed a particular outcome, and the challenge is that you wonder if that outcome would be met.
Truth is, it often isn’t.
Ever wondered why Paul didn’t write any other letter with the inscription, “God has not given us a Spirit of fear, but of power…” Two things worth noting… One: it is a spirit, not the spirit. Meaning, it isn’t a constant universal spirit. It doesn’t come because you are a Christian (or not).
The other point is this: Timothy was a youth tasked with the assignment of leading, much of who might be older than this man. Tim wasn’t afraid of the job because he was being plagued by the devil. He feared because he would fear. Fear comes. Fear is expected. Fear cannot be destroyed.
How then do we go about setting fear aside?
Know that whatever you have to do would take place with or without you, and you aren’t on a ‘must-finish’ demand. That you are chanced to do this doesn’t tag you as a dead meat if it isn’t done.
Take away the picture from yourself and put it on others. That’s the beginning of humility. Watchman Nee says, ‘humility isn’t looking less at oneself. It is not looking at oneself at all.’ Try it out. Commence the task or project knowing it isn’t about how well you do it or how jolly the ride is, but about who gets better as a result.
Do. Just do it. Getting rid of fear is much like trying to drive in a jammed traffic. The jammed traffic doesn’t deter you from arriving at your destination. Leaving the traffic behind isn’t dependent on the absence of a gridlock. I’ve been in vehicles where we slept, woke, and still were on the same spot.
So, it isn’t much about you and the ability or inability to do what you are expected, or hoping that the result you’ve predetermined would be achieved. It is being fully aware that whatever you are set to do would get done.
The medium is you, and you are to do. Not for you. But for others. Unafraid.